As I type this, I'm surrounded by boxes and boxes and boxes. This is our last full day in our apartment before friends come to help us move into a house tomorrow. There are so many reasons we wanted to move: It's way too tiny and we ran out of room for our books. We're tired of sharing walls and hearing our neighbors stomp up the stairs in the wee hours of the night. We're tired of dealing with the management office workers that make horrible decisions and don't care... We're ready to move on.
But this morning, I find myself a little slow to work on the last bit of packing. Yes, I'm tired from all the packing I've done up to this point, but what I feel is a little more than just tired. I'm a little sad. I'm sad because this tiny space has been my home for the last four years. Four years. That may not seem like a long time, but that's the longest my husband and I have stayed in one address since we both left home to go to college. This place is comfortable. It's familiar. I'm going to miss the farm road scenery. I'm going to miss the camel we say "hi" to everyday on our drive home. (Yes, there's a camel. There are also alpacas, horses, donkeys, cows, and other animals we never figured out so we just call them "beasts." On our drives home, we've been surprised by deer, wild turkeys, and owls. Our drives home will probably never be so adorable again.)
Over the past month, in the midst of packing mayhem, I've had moments when I briefly think, "Wouldn't it be easier to stay where I'm at? Am I really done with this place? Do I really want to move on?" Yes, it would be easier to stay where I'm at. But even though I may not feel 100% done with this place, yes, I really want to move on. If I stay here, I will miss too much:
an adorable house
in an adorable neighborhood full of trees and pretty houses
with cute shops and restaurants within walking distance
a front door that's red and makes me think of old houses in DC
a fireplace
a backyard
a front yard with trees
space for a Christmas tree
space to hide the Christmas tree when it's not Christmas
space to dedicate a whole room to our books and have a home library
space for my pianos (yes, plural)
space to host a party with more than two friends at a time
space to play board games and do puzzles
space...
It's worth leaving the comfortable and familiar to have something that's better.
