Unburdening

I made a major change in my life yesterday. Every since I was diagnosed with lupus, my eating habits, my daily pace, my address, and my job have all changed. But my everyday, go-to bag has not. I've gotten other bags to add to my collection, but they are all too-large-to-call-a-purse, hurt-your-back-and-neck-and-shoulders, and carry-everything-you-possibly-can-including-a-small-library, sized. Until now. 

Yesterday, I decided that I'm done carrying heavy burdens everywhere I go. I decided to "upgrade" to something much smaller. My new purse - it really is small enough to be called a purse - has room for my cellphone, driver's license, debit card, keys, and pillfold. That's it. Five things. Only the essentials. Nothing more. It's liberating. And scary. 

What if five things aren't enough? What if I'm out and I don't have something with me that I neeeeeed?!? What if something bad happens because I didn't have everything with me? 

I had gotten used to my burden. It was my safety blanket...a very painful one, but a safety blanket nonetheless. It made me feel secure to have everything with me "just in case." But sometimes, you have to let go of the security blanket. Sometimes, you have to look your "What ifs" in the face and say, "The world will keep moving, my life will keep going, and it's going to be okay."