When I'm teaching, I look like I'm full of energy. I pour my whole heart into it because I believe in my students and I believe in the subject matter. My students think I'm
an extrovert. They have no idea that I'm an introvert (and that lupus has made me even more so), that I spend so
much time alone in my office so that I'll have strength to teach my next
class, that at the end of the day my body shuts down. Everyday is hard. Some days are excruciating pain. But I love it! I
love that I have something in my life that is worth every ounce of my
energy. Something worth waking up for. Something worth feeling tired
for. Something worth giving my all.
And that's a tiny little piece of what Good Friday is about. The incredible idea that we were worth it.
It was now about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, while the sun's light failed. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!" And having said this he breathed his last. (from the account of Jesus' death in the Gospel of Luke)
Friday, March 29, 2013
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Lessons From The Monastery
Last weekend, my husband and I went to a monastery for a few days to get away from the noise of the world and find some solitude. When we first arrived, I had a hard time slowing down. I'm so used to packed schedules and never ending to-do lists. It took the entire first night to get all the hustle and bustle out of my system. Even when I was reading my Bible that night, I had to stop and ask myself, "Why am I rushing?" I learned that night that I need to give myself more space to breathe, to think, to listen.
When I woke up the second day, I was ready for the slower pace. I did a lot of praying, reading, and thinking between my meals. I was even able to go on a little hike and take a nap. I learned that an hour of prayer can go by so fast when you are praying for things and people you care about. I learned that every moment of my day doesn't have to be filled with stuff, that God has a way of speaking to us and refreshing us in the spaces. I learned that a boring moment isn't necessarily unproductive - filling boring moments with useless things is. I learned that a state of rest can be extremely difficult to enter into and way too easy to get out of. I learned that there's too much unnecessary noise in my life that is robbing me of some of the things I want most. I learned the power of intentionality in spending extravagant time with God. It goes against the grain of the busyness of our society, yet it propels us to a greater level of productivity and effectiveness that all of our busyness could never attain. It is the extravagance of time that allows us to experience greater depth.
When I woke up the second day, I was ready for the slower pace. I did a lot of praying, reading, and thinking between my meals. I was even able to go on a little hike and take a nap. I learned that an hour of prayer can go by so fast when you are praying for things and people you care about. I learned that every moment of my day doesn't have to be filled with stuff, that God has a way of speaking to us and refreshing us in the spaces. I learned that a boring moment isn't necessarily unproductive - filling boring moments with useless things is. I learned that a state of rest can be extremely difficult to enter into and way too easy to get out of. I learned that there's too much unnecessary noise in my life that is robbing me of some of the things I want most. I learned the power of intentionality in spending extravagant time with God. It goes against the grain of the busyness of our society, yet it propels us to a greater level of productivity and effectiveness that all of our busyness could never attain. It is the extravagance of time that allows us to experience greater depth.
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