God's Music

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of thunder, with a Faure nocturne and lyrics in my head: 

"...I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed."

I am curled on my couch - not from a lupus flare for once - so I can soak in all of the beautiful sounds that are surrounding my house and swimming in my head. I am awestruck by the beauty of this space. The power of the thunder accompanied by millions of droplets. Crescendos and diminuendos. Melody and percussion. Moments of great fury and other moments of rest.

God is playing a symphony in the sky. And in my heart - I dare not speak out loud lest I disrupt His performance - I whisper, "Bravo, God. Bravo."

Prayers for Sleep

I am presently typing away in the wee hours of the morning. I have insomnia.

Last night, after dinner, I informed my husband that I had a headache and it was probably because I didn't have any coffee or tea that morning. I simply forgot. For me, caffeine headaches are no small thing. They often lead to migraines and a night of misery and uselessness. There is only one way to keep it from getting worse: drink a cup of coffee. So my husband lovingly made me a concoction of iced coffee with vanilla almond milk. It tasted wonderful. My headache is gone. And now I have insomnia. And my back hurts. Okay, the back pain is completely unrelated, but it is present nonetheless. And I have a feeling that even if I didn't have a cup of coffee swimming through my veins, the pain in my back would have been enough to keep me up.

Lupus leads to a vicious cycle: pain begets insomnia, which begets more pain, which begets more insomnia. This is not only true for those with lupus, but also for many who are battling chronic illness. At times, it can seem so cruel when sleep alludes those who feel they need it the most. It can be frustrating, discouraging, even lonely.

I have had many people tell me that they are praying for God to heal me. I appreciate those prayers and the love that motivates them. I hope those prayers continue. But can I be truly honest with you? Sometimes, Often times, I think I would prefer it if people would pray that I would have a good night's sleep. Of course, the two prayers are not mutually exclusive, but I am well aware that most people pray for the former and don't even consider the latter. I have learned that I can live a full life with lupus. It's not easy, but it is a full life. The thing is, we live one day at a time. And I have lost so many days because of the sleepless nights that preceded them.

So, for those of you who pray for your friends who need a healing touch from God, I would like to challenge you to not let your prayers end there. Pray for sleep. Pray for restful nights. And pray that when morning comes, they wake up feeling refreshed.

If you would like more ideas of how you can pray for someone with a chronic illness, you can find some here.