Anything

I began this summer by praying "God-I-will-do-anything prayers" in the quiet of a monastery. (You can read about that life-altering journey here, here, here, and here.) I have continued to pray these prayers throughout the summer with a completely open and willing heart. Anything has taken the shape of many small things: removing my cell phone from my bedroom, giving God extravagant time every morning, reading the Bible from beginning to end over the summer, and trusting God by obeying His quiet voice with no hesitation. But deep inside my heart, I have known that a day is coming when God will lead me to anything, and anything will not be so small. It will be huge. Crazy huge. At the start of this journey, my "anything prayers" were gut-wrenching. But as the summer progressed, these "anything prayers" have become less intense. Not because I mean them any less, but because they have become easier to pray. (It's amazing how easy it is to pray scary prayers and follow God into the unknown when you have already given yourself completely to Him and have nothing left to hold back.)

Yesterday, anything started to ache in my heart. Today, my heart is torn wide open and all I want is the anything God wants of me. The anything God wants me to do...that only I can do. I have no idea what lays ahead, but I feel like my life is being turned upside down...or right side up. I feel as though there are people who are praying for me who have no idea it's me they are praying for. They are praying for a problem, a seemingly impossible situation. And God, in His omniscience, is looking at me and saying, "Get ready. Anything is about to happen."