Explaining Lupus Fatigue

Sometimes when people ask me how I am, I answer,

"I'm tired,"

and they say,

"I know exactly how you feel."

Really? I appreciate the sentiment. And I show my appreciation with a sheepish grin. But unless they are living with a chronic illness, I highly doubt they know exactly how I feel. In fact, the fact that they would say that they know exactly how I feel causes me to doubt they have a remote understanding of what I'm going through. Before you start to think that this is an angry rant, let me be clear: I know they mean well. I know their words are just a sign that they don't understand. They probably will never understand. And to be perfectly honest, I hope for them that they never will. So I will continue to appreciate the sentiment and reply with a sheepish grin.

But there are times when a sheepish grin is not enough. Maybe you've been there. Times when people at work ask more of you than your body will allow. Times when friends want to hang out when your body is hurting and craving rest. Times when someone who loves you truly wants to understand so they can better know how to be there for you.

Maybe you don't have lupus, but you've been there in a different way. I have been blessed to have a husband who has been my greatest supporter. He has learned how to watch for my symptoms. He knows my limits. And he knows more than anybody what I mean when I say I'm tired. But I know that there are times when people ask him how I'm doing or wondering if we're available to hang out...and he has a loss of words.

The other day, I came across an article that beautifully articulates what I'm feeling when I say that I'm tired. It is honest without being angry or sad. So if you, like me, are grasping for ways to help the people in your life understand what you're going through, check out the words of Jenn Schoch in "The 5 Types of Lupus Fatigue." I think she explains it better than I ever could!