IMHO...

It is so wonderful that we're allowed to have our own opinions and have the ability to share those opinions with the world. It is truly an amazing privilege that is very unique to our place in history.

For me, I have never been lacking of brilliant awesome many opinions and I have never been shy in sharing them. Of course, the world is not clamoring to hear my opinions as much as I would expect it to. At least, that was true until I had lupus. There's something about being a joyful person with a chronic illness. All of a sudden, your opinion starts to matter to some people. That's sort of what made me decide to start blogging. And I can't believe how many people have joined me on this journey!

There is a saying I heard a lot when I was growing up: "To whom much is given, much is required." There is responsibility that comes with what we have been given. And if you don't want to take responsibility, you are not exempt from the consequences. Words have power. They can encourage, they can hurt, they can make the ears dull. They can bring life or death. They can cause great change or cause something that needs to change to stay the same. So pick your words wisely. And if you don't, don't be surprised if you don't like the results.

So, let's take a moment to talk about social media. There's something about social media that has made us less skilled at the art of conversation. In a conversation, you don't just intermittently spout snippets of your opinion. You listen. Then you respond. You don't just respond to words. You respond to body language, voice inflection, and nuance. You respond to emotions like happiness and heartache. In a conversation, it is (hopefully) less about spouting your opinion and more about what matters most - people.

Social media allows us to make statements without context, without human interaction, without a conversation. The writer and the reader are blind to what the other is thinking or going through. We are often saying "mid-conversation" statements when no conversation had begun. We are given the illusion that we can say such "mid-conversation" statements and assume people are at the exact same place in our conversation. This is not how reality works. There is always context. And if we are not careful, our well-meaning proclamations of our opinions can be hurtful words in the context of someone else's life.

And that is the problem with our new found ability to declare to the world our opinions. We are too quick to stomp all over people in the name of "our opinion." You're going through something very difficult? Well I have an opinion based on a theory I have or something I read so I'm going to minimize what you're going through and treat you like you don't matter. And I am going to feel good about it because I'm exercising my right to free speech.

What have we become? Is this really the way we want to live?

To be honest, I'm writing this in response to a hurtful encounter I recently had in the social media world. Without going into any detail, someone was so focused on expressing their opinion about a matter that they flippantly said things that were extremely insensitive to something difficult my husband and I are going through. (Btw, if my husband says an issue is "hitting home because my wife has lupus," this is a hint that the topic is a painful one.) I do not believe that everyone needs to agree with my opinions. I do not believe that people should be restricted from having or sharing their opinions or beliefs. I also do not believe that our opinions are ever an excuse to treat people in a way that is uncivil, rude, or hurtful.

So, I propose we make a pact:
Let's remember that we can't see everyone's context.
Let's value people over our opinions.
Let's choose our words wisely.

Who's in?