What Doing Less Accomplished

At the start of the year, I made a commitment to do less to accomplish more. It was scary at first. A part of me was afraid that I was following a lie—that doing less would not accomplish more as I had hoped. An even bigger part of me felt like I was being lazy or unproductive. But I have learned that having space in my life and getting the rest I need can be one of the most productive things I can do for myself and the people I love. Intentionally creating space and having rest does indeed make room for greater things.

So what exactly did I accomplish by doing less this year? Here's a glimpse:

1. I've done the dishes and laundry. This may sound silly, but for so long I didn't have any strength at all to do some basic things. I was so depleted from work that I had no strength left in the evenings or weekends to do anything. My husband had to do these things for me 100% of the time (on top of working full time and grad school). He still helps me a lot, but the burden is no longer completely on his shoulders. This may not seem like that big of a deal, but being able to contribute to doing the dishes and laundry has given us space to do better things...

2. Instead of spending all of my free time lying down in bed or on the couch in exhaustion, I've been able to enjoy life with my husband. (It also helps that he isn't exhausted from doing everything in the house.) We've gone out, explored bookstores, played board games, and had meaningful conversations. (If you can't tell, we're both introverts.) We did more exciting things too...like going to Disney World (which is a pretty big accomplishment when you have lupus).

3. This past semester, I did NOT dismiss any of piano students early so I could go throw up. This is an actual accomplishment? Yes, it is. Lupus has a way of making sudden, unexpected appearances. But it's amazing what a difference resting and taking care of your body can have. My lupus is still active and I still experience fatigue and aches and pains—I had a total of 4 cortisone injections this past semester alone—but lupus hasn't kept me from being present to my students. I can honestly look back at this past semester and be proud of what I gave in every lesson. (If you're one of my students, I'm sure you have your own opinions of how each lesson went. Let's just celebrate the good stuff right now.)

4. I've done things with friends. I couldn't do this last year. (Again, I had no strength.) And not being able to cultivate relationships left me feeling lonely and emotionally drained. (Even the most introverted people need relationships.) But this year, I've gone out for coffee, lunch, and even the movies with friends! I'm not exactly a social butterfly now, but the fact that I had a social life at all this year is a huge victory for me. After all, it's not all or nothing. It's better to have a limited social life than none at all.

5. I performed my first full piano recital since my lupus diagnosis. When I finished my Master's degree, I imagined that performing recitals would be a yearly thing, but lupus put that dream on hold...indefinitely. I don't know if this is something I'll do every single year, but it's such a good feeling to know that performing as a soloist is back on the table. My music-making days are not over yet.

6. I've started dreaming again. There are so many things that got pushed aside when lupus came into the picture. But this year, old dreams have been revived and new dreams have been born. Steps are being taken. Parts are moving. Big things are in the works. (I realize I'm being vague, but some things need time to develop and take some shape before sharing with the rest of the world.)

Even though I didn't cross off every item on my 2015 list of goals (such as learning Latin or songs on the ukulele), I love what doing less allowed me to accomplish this year. So as I look forward to the coming year, what is my theme/goal/resolution going to be?

Reprise: Continue to do less to accomplish more. 

I know, after this past year, my new theme isn't very original. I don't care. It's not that I can't think of something better. And it's definitely not that I don't feel like I made enough progress in 2015. It's that I feel like I'm just getting started. Of course, I want new adventures. But I'm at a point in my life when, in order to find new adventures, I need to go deeper and farther. I'm not scratching items off a list. I'm growing, transforming, becoming. 

So bring it on, 2016. I'm ready for you!