Snapshot of My Year in Books

When one has a blog called "A Room With Books And Music," one must discuss one's books. Here's a sampling of my favorites in 2015:

1. The Classical Style: Haydn, Mozart, Beethoven, by Charles Rosen

2. Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration, by Ed Catmul (president of Pixar)

3. Scripture and the Authority of God: How to Read the Bible Today, by N.T. Wright

4. Live Dead Joy: 365 Days of Living and Dying with Jesus, by Dick Brogden

5. The Bush Always Burns: Jesus in the Unnanounced Moments of Life, by Heath Adamson

6. A Circle of Quiet, by Madeleine L'engle

7. Is Everyone Hanging Out With Me? by Mindy Kaling (This is the first book that I ever read purely for the laughs.)

8. The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster (because sometimes you just need  to read a childhood favorite again as an adult)

9. Never Let Me Go, by Kazuo Ishiguro

10. The Island of the Day Before, by Umberto Eco

Bonus. Secret Garden: An Inky Treasure Hunt and Colouring Book + Enchanted Forest: An Inky Quest and Colouring Book, by Johanna Basford. For the record, I had coloring books as an adult before it was cool to have coloring books as an adult. But, nothing I had compares with what has come out in the past few years. These 2015 acquisitions will be my 2016 escape.

What were some of your favorite books in 2015?

What Doing Less Accomplished

At the start of the year, I made a commitment to do less to accomplish more. It was scary at first. A part of me was afraid that I was following a lie—that doing less would not accomplish more as I had hoped. An even bigger part of me felt like I was being lazy or unproductive. But I have learned that having space in my life and getting the rest I need can be one of the most productive things I can do for myself and the people I love. Intentionally creating space and having rest does indeed make room for greater things.

So what exactly did I accomplish by doing less this year? Here's a glimpse:

1. I've done the dishes and laundry. This may sound silly, but for so long I didn't have any strength at all to do some basic things. I was so depleted from work that I had no strength left in the evenings or weekends to do anything. My husband had to do these things for me 100% of the time (on top of working full time and grad school). He still helps me a lot, but the burden is no longer completely on his shoulders. This may not seem like that big of a deal, but being able to contribute to doing the dishes and laundry has given us space to do better things...

2. Instead of spending all of my free time lying down in bed or on the couch in exhaustion, I've been able to enjoy life with my husband. (It also helps that he isn't exhausted from doing everything in the house.) We've gone out, explored bookstores, played board games, and had meaningful conversations. (If you can't tell, we're both introverts.) We did more exciting things too...like going to Disney World (which is a pretty big accomplishment when you have lupus).

3. This past semester, I did NOT dismiss any of piano students early so I could go throw up. This is an actual accomplishment? Yes, it is. Lupus has a way of making sudden, unexpected appearances. But it's amazing what a difference resting and taking care of your body can have. My lupus is still active and I still experience fatigue and aches and pains—I had a total of 4 cortisone injections this past semester alone—but lupus hasn't kept me from being present to my students. I can honestly look back at this past semester and be proud of what I gave in every lesson. (If you're one of my students, I'm sure you have your own opinions of how each lesson went. Let's just celebrate the good stuff right now.)

4. I've done things with friends. I couldn't do this last year. (Again, I had no strength.) And not being able to cultivate relationships left me feeling lonely and emotionally drained. (Even the most introverted people need relationships.) But this year, I've gone out for coffee, lunch, and even the movies with friends! I'm not exactly a social butterfly now, but the fact that I had a social life at all this year is a huge victory for me. After all, it's not all or nothing. It's better to have a limited social life than none at all.

5. I performed my first full piano recital since my lupus diagnosis. When I finished my Master's degree, I imagined that performing recitals would be a yearly thing, but lupus put that dream on hold...indefinitely. I don't know if this is something I'll do every single year, but it's such a good feeling to know that performing as a soloist is back on the table. My music-making days are not over yet.

6. I've started dreaming again. There are so many things that got pushed aside when lupus came into the picture. But this year, old dreams have been revived and new dreams have been born. Steps are being taken. Parts are moving. Big things are in the works. (I realize I'm being vague, but some things need time to develop and take some shape before sharing with the rest of the world.)

Even though I didn't cross off every item on my 2015 list of goals (such as learning Latin or songs on the ukulele), I love what doing less allowed me to accomplish this year. So as I look forward to the coming year, what is my theme/goal/resolution going to be?

Reprise: Continue to do less to accomplish more. 

I know, after this past year, my new theme isn't very original. I don't care. It's not that I can't think of something better. And it's definitely not that I don't feel like I made enough progress in 2015. It's that I feel like I'm just getting started. Of course, I want new adventures. But I'm at a point in my life when, in order to find new adventures, I need to go deeper and farther. I'm not scratching items off a list. I'm growing, transforming, becoming. 

So bring it on, 2016. I'm ready for you!

My Favorite Moment

My first post-lupus-diagnosis piano recital was earlier this week. It was everything I wanted it to be. One person later told me, "You kicked lupus in the butt!" My arthritic fingers made the sounds and colors I wanted. My mind never stopped even when I felt lupus fog clouding my memory. And to add to the excitement, the room was full of such wonderful energy from people who weathered the rain to be there. In that one night, my heart became full with so many victories, sweet words, and memories I will cherish for a long time. But there is one moment from that night that stands out above all the rest.

Before the recital...

After I finished warming up, I had a few minutes before the doors to the recital hall opened for people to find their seats. I was alone in the hall. It was just me and God. I began to play some hymns. No thought of technique. No thought of memory work. No thought of what people may think or trying to impress anyone. Just worship. Pure, unfiltered worship. I was completely free. God has given me so much. I wouldn't be able to play the piano or perform if it wasn't for Him. It was only right that my first performance that night was for Him and Him alone.

 

Integrity

Integrity.

As I type this word, I realize that I sound old-fashioned. I'm definitely not going to win the Most Trendy Blog Award with this piece. When I was a teenager, I viewed integrity as something that older-than-me people talked about. As each year passes, I certainly find myself thinking about it more and more. I think that's because it takes years of living to see both the fruit of integrity and the toll that a lack of integrity takes on people's lives. 

If you want to get ahead...Or rather, if you don't want to get left behind or pushed aside in today's fast-obsessed, ambition-driven world, integrity oftentimes gets the shaft. Integrity is unpopular in a dog-eat-dog world. We are taught to do whatever it takes, to value trendiness and instant success over longevity, and to protect ourselves at whatever cost. Why strive for integrity when you can settle for easy? Who needs integrity when you're good at playing dirty politics? And what good is integrity if it can just get you in a tough situation? The problem with these questions is that they are short-sighted.

A chair that lacks integrity will collapse under weight. A boat that lacks integrity will sink in rough waters. A building that lacks integrity will fall when pushed by the wind. The world needs more people who can hold strong under the weight of this life, stay afloat in the midst rough waters, and stand strong when beat against by the changing winds. 

The longer you live, the more you see things - good and bad. I still like to think I'm young - I'm 34 years old - but I have seen more than my share for my age. To be honest, I probably could have said the same thing a decade ago. I saw too much in the few years immediately after college. I saw too early the havoc that a lack of integrity can leave behind. And it was all in the name of fun, ambition, and a chance to escape for a moment. I have lived long enough to see those who lack integrity prosper for a while only to have everything they touched corrode in the end. (It is heartbreaking to watch.) And I have also lived long enough to witness those who have lived with integrity come through on the other side of life's challenges and create long-lasting legacies. I have lived and seen enough to know that in the end, integrity is worth it every time.

So how can you have integrity? Build your character. Character is your substance, the stuff you're made of. Integrity is the byproduct of excellent character. Character can be good or bad. But when it comes to integrity, you either have it or you don't. So build your character: Choose right over easy. Think long instead of taking shortcuts. Face life's pain and obstacles head on, no matter how difficult they may be. Be courageous. Listen to wisdom. Hold onto God in all the seasons of life - both the good and the bad. Be consistent. Pray when it's hard to pray. Worship when it's hard to worship. Seek God when it's hard to see Him. And don't shrink away from things just because they are hard.

Piano Recitals and Lupus

In a little over a month, I will be giving my first piano recital in three years. The last time I gave a recital was months before I was diagnosed with lupus. At the time, I had just earned my Master's in piano performance. The path to that achievement felt like a huge mountain climb, made even steeper by carpal tunnel syndrome and tendonitis in both my hands and wrists. I had no idea that I had a bigger mountain waiting for me right around the corner.

Days before my last "pre-lupus" recital, I wrote in my journal:

Sunday, July 8, 2012

     My shoulder keeps slipping out of place and the joints in my hand are swelling. I was planning on taking a break from the pain medications this summer, but instead I'm taking more pain pills than I've ever taken in my whole life just to function. I have some important performances coming up this month. It will take a miracle for my hands to endure the physical requirements of my pieces and make it through from start to finish. At any moment my hands could stop...I go into every performance with a strong awareness that it could be my last and it will happen only because God will make it happen.

After the recital, my health continued to grow worse:

Sunday, July 22, 2012
     My hands are still painfully swollen. I have pain in my feet, knees, shoulders, and neck....even with all the Mobic, Tylenol, anti-inflammatory cream, and Tiger Balm. It's been going on for about a month now. I'm starting to get worried. Could this be something serious? What is happening to me? Will my body ever have rest from all of these medical problems? I'm only thirty, but I feel like my body is falling apart and shutting down. Even though I know God is taking care of me, I'm still afraid.

I often hear people say, "God will never give you more than you can handle." When it comes to hard stuff in life, I think that's a load of crap. In the months that followed these journal entries, God definitely allowed me to go through way beyond what I could handle. Every morning, every night, I cried to God for mercy. I can't handle the pain! I have absolutely no strength left! I can't go through this one more day! I wasn't being dramatic. I was in too much pain to move. Playing the piano wasn't possible. I had lost over twenty pounds in less than two months. At least a third of my hair had fallen out. And without a diagnosis, there was nothing the doctors could do to help me. I had nothing in me left to keep going. And I was completely dependent on God to sustain me.

So a little over three years later, I'm doing a piano recital. (At this point, I'm tearing up as I type.) So yeah, I think this is pretty awesome. Even if I end up making a lot of mistakes and the performance doesn't sound anything like how I practiced - I really hope that's not the case and that it's amazing - I'm just so happy to be able to play and perform again. To be honest, I'm so glad God let me go through more than I could handle a few years ago. If He hadn't - if He would have let me have easy - I don't think I would experience the profound joy that I have when I play. I'm sure I still would have had joy, but not quite so profound. Music wouldn't be quite so precious and this performance wouldn't be so special. That's the beauty of hard things: They make the good things so much better. Oh, how I love how God shapes life's adventures!

To read more about my piano recital adventure, click here and here.

Remembering

This time of year makes me very contemplative. October 7 is my birthday and October 9 is the anniversary of when I got the call from the doctor telling me I have lupus. So October 8, 2012 is a sort of "dark day" in my memory. I remember the physical and emotional pain of not having the strength to get out of bed myself. I remember the questions in my head, wondering what was happening to me and asking myself, Am I dying? I remember the agony of waiting for the answers to come...wondering if they would ever come.

The past three years since my diagnosis have been a whirlwind of hard and wonderful. I am thankful for life - so much more thankful than I was before I had lupus. I'm thankful or my husband. For my work. For the people I love and the opportunities before me. For the ability to see God's handiwork a little more clearly. So much in my life means more to me. And the unimportant things mean so much less.

And so when it comes to anniversaries, they feel weightier to me. I can't just dismiss them. I need them so I don't forget. I don't want to forget what I've been through. Even all the horribly hard stuff. I want to remember it all....because it's all the hard stuff that makes the good stuff all the more sweeter. Life is so much harder with lupus, but I am so much happier because I feel the joy of every victory, every good day, every beautiful moment.

So today, on the anniversary of that day between my birthday and the call from the doctor that changed everything, I remember what it means to be truly alive and I thank God for another year.

If I Could Do It All Over Again

If I could do my post-diagnosis life all over again, there's one thing I would do differently. I would re-evaluate my work situation and make some changes. I don't think I would have given up my work at that point, but I would have chosen a different mindset. Instead of, "What can I do so that I could keep going at this crazy pace and work load?" I should have asked different questions:

Is this a healthy pace or work load even for a healthy person? (It wasn't.)

Does my work environment enable me to make healthy decisions or is it a hindrance? (It was definitely a hindrance.)

What things about my job are way beyond what I know my body can handle? Are those things that are worth the consequences or is the cost too high?

What is my physical condition at the end of my work day? (I was useless.)

Do I have energy for anything aside from work? (I didn't.)

What do I need at my work to ensure I can continue to work as long as possible?

How is this job affecting my quality of life in general?

If I could do it all over again, I would have been more intentional about educating the people over me in my work. (I tend to be much better with those who are below me.) I would have sat down with them, brainstormed solutions, and gotten things in writing.

If I could do it all over again, I would be less concerned with proving that I could still do it all and more concerned with doing what matters most.

A Promise

I made a promise.

Back in July, my friend who was battling cancer posted these words on Facebook:

"Hey guys. I just wanted to give you guys a heads up.

September is lymphoma awareness month.

It means something to me."

I asked if she could give a reminder when the time came close. "I'll give you some Facebook and blog love," I wrote. She assured me that she would give a reminder. A few days before the start of Lymphoma Awareness Month, a reminder came, but not in the way I was anticipating. On August 29, 2015, Randi passed away and took her first steps in Heaven. She was 34 years old. She loved Jesus and she held onto Him until the very end.

In honor of my friend, I decided to keep my promise. I believe that Randi would want people to know that lymphoma sucks and cancer is hard. But I think that more than that, she would want people to know that God is good and cancer is not the end of hope. I met Randi in Bible college, where she was training to be a worship leader. Worshipping God isn't just something she did. It's how she lived her life. She sang praises to God until the very end. When the pain was at its worst, she kept trusting God. She loved Him with her entire being, and now she is finally at rest in His glorious presence. As I have dealt with lupus, I could always look to Randi for inspiration and encouragement. She went through so much, but was always full of joy, strength, and she was always ready to pray for anyone who had a need. She was a warrior. Her courage gave me courage. Her life was too short, but she lived a life that was full and significant. I am honored that I had the chance to be impacted by her.

In the last months of her life and battle with cancer, Randi shared some passages from the Bible on her Facebook wall. The verses that she chose are revealing of the hope that she had. A hope that wasn't dependent on her circumstances or emotions. A hope that was unwavering and deeply rooted in a strong, big, and loving God. In honor of her, I want to share these verses with you because I think that no matter what you're going through, she would want you to know the love of Jesus and to have the hope that she had.

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:14)

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17)

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelation 21:2-4)

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. (Philippians 3:20)

We miss you already, Randi. Thank you for living your life well. Now rest in the arms of your Savior. <3

Why I Hate Pregnancy Jokes

I am not pregnant.

I am sure.

But you've gained weight...But you've been throwing up...But it would explain some of your symptoms...But you have been married for a long time already...But I just think it would be really great if you were pregnant...

I am not pregnant.

Yes, my weight fluctuates as my health goes back and forth between good and bad seasons. Yes, I do throw up a lot as a response to pain. Yes, a lot of my symptoms look like pregnancy symptoms. Yes, I have been happily married for over a decade without ever getting pregnant. And yes, I think it would be really great if I got pregnant.

I am still not pregnant. I have never gotten pregnant, never miscarried. I simply have never conceived. And I want to scream want to cry hate it every single time someone jokingly asks or makes a joke about how I may be pregnant. I know they mean it in good fun, but for me, it's not funny. And the hurt that it causes is so disproportionate to the person's light-hearted intentions. At times, the pain is simply excruciating.

If you could feel the pain that I feel every year as Mother's Day approaches. If you could know the disappointment I feel as I am reminded each month that I am still not pregnant. If you could feel the longing I have when someone I have invested in tells me, "You would make a great mother." If you could see me fight tears as the doctors use words like, "very unlikely" and "not possible." If you could know the pain of telling your husband, "The last treatment didn't work."

Why have I never gotten pregnant? The simple answer is that I have endometriosis and lupus with Sjogren's syndrome in the mix. This combination is not very conducive to having a baby. This is the easiest answer to give when someone asks. But the real answer is, "I don't know." Pregnancy is not 100% outside of the realm of possibility even with my special combination of maladies. Miracles happen. I believe in miracles. I have prayed for this particular miracle. Many times. I am unwavering in my faith and trust in God. And I am still not pregnant. And I have no words that can sufficiently explain why.

I don't ask, "Why," because I don't need to be stuck in a question that leads to a dead end. I choose to live each day with an optimism that whether or not God chooses to bless me with children of my own, He still has amazing things in store for me.

But still...

There are times when I feel sad. I see something that reminds me. Or, something happens that brings up the hurt. Sometimes - like when Mother's Day is approaching - I know that it's coming. Sometimes those times come unexpectedly. And because I am - as many of my friends have told me - a joyful person, there's often no way for others to know if this is one of those times or not. And those light-hearted jokes just make it worse because it is not a light topic for me. It is unbearably heavy. And when something feels unbearably heavy, some jokes just pile onto the weight.

I have been very vocal about my journey with lupus ever since my diagnosis. But this is something I don't talk about freely for many reasons. It is an extremely emotional topic for many people in similar circumstances and I don't feel qualified to address it well. I have also had many situations in which I have told people that their joking about this is really hurtful only for them to be more persistent in their jokes. Not everyone understands what a difficult topic this can be. And it can be a deflating experience to try to explain these things to someone who doesn't understand. It is hard enough as it is. So like many, I choose to deal with it quietly.

So if I may, please allow me to make a bold request: Please consider your words before you jokingly ask me if I am pregnant or make light of the fact that I am not. (I know that there are cultures where it is considered a compliment to tell someone that they look pregnant, but I did not grow up in that kind of culture. And as much as I understand this kind of humor in my mind, my heart still fails to understand.) Maybe there is a day in the future when these kinds of jokes can make me laugh, but it's hard to imagine that. And I can assure you, this is not that day.

Do Hard Things

An entire month went by without a single piece added to my blog. So, what kept me too occupied to blog? I was practicing the piano. Yup. (You can get a peek into one of my practice sessions here.) I wanted to get in as much practicing as I could before my teaching schedule goes back into full swing at the university. And with all the hours of practicing, I finished memorizing my 235 backwards sections! It wasn't easy. At the end of each day, my mind was as sharp as mush, my hands were strong like Jello, and my SI joints were as cushy as knives. It was hard. And it was worth every minute.

I am able to do what I do because I don't let hard stop me. I just keep going, doing what I know needs to be done to achieve my goal. Even when I'm discouraged. Even when I'm struggling. Even when I feel like I hit a wall. Even when it's not the most exciting thing going on (or when it's more exciting than I prefer). Even when lupus adds limitations that make my impossible seem ridiculous. I would rather live a life that is hard than not truly live at all.

Do what it takes. Even if it's hard. Even if you have to go slow. Even if you get discouraged along the way. Even if the end seems so far...because this is the road that leads to great things. 

Conquering Lupus Fog

I am a pianist. I have lupus. I am a pianist with lupus.

When I received my lupus diagnosis, I had just earned a Master's degree in piano performance and enjoyed a performance-filled summer. Even though I was already working as a music professor and piano collaborator, I had plans to regularly perform recitals. But when lupus came along, symptoms of constant fatigue, arthritis, and cognitive dysfunction (also known as "lupus fog") took performing recitals off the table. I've had opportunities to perform single pieces and shorter programs as a soloist since my diagnosis, but nothing that exceeds 20 minutes. After years of trying to juggle life and work and lupus, and then choosing to do less to accomplish more (which included a very emotional decision to resign from being a piano collaborator), performing a recital is back on the table.

This journey is like preparing to do a marathon for the first time. There is a lot of physical and mental preparation that needs to be done. I have to be diligent in taking care of my body. I have to be disciplined in my schedule and practice. I have to build up my strength and endurance. And for this particular recital, I have to memorize 235 backwards sections. 

Wait...What? Backwards sections. When I was a little girl, my piano teacher taught me a method for memorizing pieces: Divide the piece into small, easy-to-memorize sections and mark them with a small asterisk from beginning to end. Then, number each section from end to beginning. That's right. Number them backwards. The very last section of the piece is section one, the second to the last is section two, etc. Start memorizing section one (which is a small number of measures) by playing it multiple times until it's memorized. Then play section two to the end until it's memorized. Then section three to the end. And then...I think you get the idea. From an early age, I learned my piano pieces both forwards and backwards. Literally. I never stopped using backwards sections and I teach all my piano students to use them, too. So back to the topic at hand...

235 backwards sections. The thought is terrifying. If you don't know, thanks to a nineteenth-century pop star named Franz Liszt, pianists today perform solo pieces (and full recitals) from memory. It's the standard performance practice for classical pianists. Thanks to my childhood piano teacher's backwards sections, I used to pride myself in my ability to memorize pieces. But lupus has made memory - even with hundreds of hours of doing backwards sections - extremely challenging.

Lupus fog is my most frustrating symptom. I have a very strong long-term memory. It's not eidetic, but it is strong. Yet at any moment, my ability to focus and remember things gets lost in a fog. Sometimes I can physically feel when it's about to happen, but usually it feels like my mind just stops and goes blank. I could be busy working productively on a project, in the midst of practicing, or in the middle of a conversation with a student, and then - BAM! - the fog. What am I working on? What key am I playing in? What was I saying? There was even a time when I was talking to someone and I couldn't think of a single adjective during the whole conversation. It was like every adjective was temporarily erased from my vocabulary. 

235 backwards sections. I could get to section 142 and - BAM! - lupus fog decides to pay a visit and I forget which key I'm in. Or - BAM! - I can't remember what notes come next. Or even - BAM! -  I lose track of which piece I'm playing. So, why don't I just plan to perform with the sheet music in front of me? Sidestepping lupus fog is not so simple. It can come even if the music is right there to (theoretically) save me. Even during my practice sessions, when I have the music right there, lupus fog can come and make it all appear incomprehensible. The solution does not lie in shortcuts.

The solution lies in work that is slow, focused, and demanding. I can't prepare my pieces with the expectation that, at the performance, my memory will be in...well...top performance. I'm preparing for every worst case scenario, making contingency plans for when my memory or fingers slip. I'm working habits into my fingers and mind, disciplining both my fingers and my focus. I'm practicing hard and praying harder. And I'm dealing with the fog when it comes while I practice instead of giving up or pretending it doesn't exist.

I am conquering lupus fog - not by wishing it away, but by facing it head-on. When it comes, I'll be ready for it.

Disney World and Lupus

I recently got back from a week-long trip to Disney World. The day we arrived in Orlando, we hit the ground running at Downtown Disney. The next six days was a theme park whirlwind: 5 days at Disney World and a day at Universal Studios for good measure. When we got back, every inch of my body hurt and I was exhausted. But I had so much fun and made so many wonderful memories with my husband that it was totally worth it. Don't get me wrong - I really was in a lot of physical pain. The way I pushed my body that week is not something I could do on a regular basis. But one exciting week can be good for the soul. Here's the thing: I didn't go into that week thinking that I could ignore the fact that I have lupus. I planned and planned and planned with lupus in mind. If I hadn't, I don't think I would have enjoyed myself as much as I did. So if you're planning a trip to Disney World with lupus or another chronic illness, here are some tips:

Before your trip, google it.  My sister-in-law gave me this advice: "Google Walt Disney World with lupus." I'm typically not an advocate of looking to the internet for wisdom, but I was able to gain a lot of helpful ideas this way.

Talk to your doctor. They know you. They know your illness. They know things. Tell them about your trip and ask them if they have any suggestions or special instructions. They're on your side...Let them help you!

Talk to the people you're going with about what you need...before and during your trip. My husband and I have been on enough trips by now that he knows the drill. He knows to help me find shade to keep me away from the sun. He knows that when we're walking uphill, it helps to save my energy if he lightly pushes me forward on the small of my back. He knows how to tell if I'm struggling, what kind of things are especially hard on me, and what he needs to do to help me. But still, I talked to him before we went about the things that I was worried about and what I felt I might need this trip. And it made things SO much easier when we were there!

Pack your day bag well. Carry what you need (in a bag that is comfortable to lug around for long hours). Do not carry an item more and not an item less. Everyone's needs are different. Here's what I had:

     - smartphone
     - portable charger
     - sunscreen
     - sanitizing wipes
     - lip balm
     - inhaler
     - peppermint oil (for pain or to help cool down)
     - small wallet
     - bottle of water
     - sunglasses + eyeglasses
     - eyeglass cleaning wipes
     - meds
     - poncho (This was not originally on the list. But then, Orlando weather happened.)

Listen to your body. Are you hurting anywhere? Are you breathing well? Are you feeling more tired than usual? You don't need to obsess, but be aware.

Be mindful of your triggers. Whether it's a certain food, sun exposure, cigarette smoke, or even spinning in circles (I'll discuss that a little more later), be mindful of things that can increase a flare or symptoms. You may not be able to avoid certain things altogether, but being mindful can help minimize your exposure to them and keep any flares at bay.

Stay hydrated. Drinking a lot of water will help you stay cool and keep your energy level from dropping to zero. (You can ask for a cup for ice water at all the eating establishments. This helps save a lot of money in the long run.)

Rest, rest, rest! How do you rest in a theme park? Get creative! In Disney World, when you get tired, that's a great time to watch a show! Sit when you're waiting in line (even if that means plopping down on the floor). Take a little longer when you're eating your meals. I even reconfigured our hotel room so that I could sit while doing my makeup. Every little bit counts.

While I'm on the subject of rest, I had a worry going into this trip: Will I be able to walk as much as this trip requires? My husband and I came up with a couple of contingency plans. We scheduled an extra day in in the Disney parks just in case I woke up one day and felt that I couldn't do it. This way, I would never wake up with the pressure of feeling like I had to push myself beyond what I was capable of and without the worry of missing any of the parks. We also decided that, if needed, we would rent a wheelchair. Even though we never made use of our contingency plans, it was comforting to know that we had them.

Don't push your body beyond what you know it can handle. Save your spoons! Don't use an entire week's worth of spoons in one day. This doesn't just apply to the amount of energy you exert. This also has to do with the kind of rides you choose to go on. There was one in particular that pushed my body too hard. To be fair to Disney World, they had an intense version and a less intense version. My adventurous husband wanted to do the intense version. He didn't pressure me into anything, but I didn't want to look wimpy, so I didn't voice my concern...even after the multiple warnings on the pre-ride video that instructed those prone to motion sickness or sensitive to fast spinning to change to the other line. I kept telling myself, "It won't be that bad." But as the ride started, my body said, "It IS that bad!" And as soon as the ride ended, I rushed to the restroom and lost my lunch...along with a few too many spoons.

Bring just-in-case medication. I have to take immunosuppressives to keep my lupus in control. So going to a big theme park where I would be surrounded by thousands of people from all over the world is risky business. As I was packing for the trip, I said to myself, "I am not going to need all this extra medicine." I was wrong. Two-thirds of the way through the trip, I felt something scratchy on my throat and didn't have any just-in-case meds to take care of it right away. By the time I came back home, my immune system had gone into attack mode and caused my throat and thyroid to become swollen to the point where I was in a lot of pain and had a hard time breathing. A few days later, I had a six-hour adventure of being shuffled from clinic to clinic to have an inordinate amount of tests run to make sure I wasn't in any serious danger, all to find out that it was just a virus - a very stubborn virus that is taking its sweet, precious time to go away. Oh, how I wish I would have just packed some extra vitamin C and Mucinex!

Schedule rest before and after the trip.
If I had a 9 to 5 job that I would have to return to the day after arrival (like my husband), I wouldn't have been able to push my body as hard as I did. I have a light schedule during the summer months, and I have the added benefit of being able to control my hours, so I planned for a possible post-Disney lupus flare. Don't just hope that you will magically get the rest you need. Plan for it!

The goal is to make a lot of great memories - not to do everything. This is really hard when you are a type A personality. It is so easy to get task-oriented in a theme park. There are so many wonderful things to do! But unless you are going to be doing multiple days in one park, you simply can't do it all. We did two full days at Epcot and still didn't do everything that could be done there. There are so many things we didn't have time/energy to do, but our days were full and we came home with a lot of great memories we'll hold onto forever.

Choose to focus on good things. When your body is not working or people start acting ugly in the lines, choose to focus on good things. I'm not saying to ignore reality. (That would go against what I said earlier about listening to your body.) But don't let frustrations be your focus. And don't let your health or other people decide your emotions. Going to Disney World is a wonderful privilege, so don't waste your time there on negativity. There were a lot of things that could have made me feel down, but I chose to focus on my beautiful surroundings and the wonderful opportunity I had to get away with my husband. So every time something not-so-good happened, I would say, "I am not going to let that get me down because I am in the happiest place on earth!"

Have an amazing trip!!!

#PutOnPurple

Happy Put On Purple day! Today, my husband and I are wearing purple for me, for all people who are are affected by lupus, and for lupus awareness.

This is the Lupus Hand Sign:

And these are my purple shoelaces.

To all the people who wore purple today for lupus awareness, thank you for your support and for helping spread the word!

Get Ready to PUT ON PURPLE!

Get ready for it! This Friday, people all over the country will Put On Purple for lupus awareness. This is my most favoritest day of Lupus Awareness Month! (Can you tell I'm excited?) It's a fun way to bring attention to a disease that is largely unknown and misunderstood even though it affects 5 million people.

So how does it work? Just put on your purple clothes and/or accessories and tell people why you're doing it. Even a conversation as quick and simple as,

"Nice purple shirt."

"Thanks! I'm wearing purple today for lupus awareness."

can lead to a great conversation or someone googling lupus for the first time. 

And please take a selfie, too! I'm typically not a fan of them, but when it's Put On Purple day, I'm all about the selfies...Selfies for a great cause! Just don't forget to tell people you're wearing purple for lupus awareness - maybe give a shout out to a friend or family member with lupus - and use the #PutOnPurple hashtag. It's so easy! So please help spread the word.

I'll be wearing my "BRAVE" bracelet for myself and a purple outfit for all the people who are impacted by lupus. Who's going to join me?

For more tips and ideas to make the most of Put On Purple, click here.

What You Need To Know About Lupus...Even If You Don't Have Lupus

One day, I asked my husband if there was something he thought I should write about. He said that I should write a post called, "Yes, lupus CAN kill you!" Uh...That's not exactly the message that I'm trying to convey with my blog. After all, having lupus is not an automatic death sentence. I don't feel like death is knocking at my door. An article by Everyday Health says, "The overall prognosis for people with lupus has improved a great deal in recent years. The 5-year survival rate for lupus patients seen at Johns Hopkins University from 1949 to 1953 was only 50 percent; today the 5-year survival rate is over 90 percent and the 20-year survival rate is over 80 percent." This is incredible progress. But even though things are looking up, my husband is right. Lupus still continues to take lives.

I don't want to sound bleak and I'm not trying to scare anyone. This is meant to be a wake-up call. A dose of reality. Maybe even a life saver.

If you have lupus, my words for you are simple: Your life matters. In this life, you only get one body. Take care of it.

If you do not have lupus, you need to know: Your actions can affect the health of someone who does. When it comes to lupus, ignorance is not bliss. One man's ignorance can lead to not-so-very-blissful consequences for someone with lupus. Something as simple as contact with a person with lupus when you are sick - a handshake, a hug, or even something as inconspicuous as sitting close by - can land them in the hospital or cause them to have a life-threatening lupus complication. At the very least, because they are likely taking immunosuppressives, they will probably catch what you have...except that having lupus will cause their symptoms to be more intense and they will take much longer to recover. "Oh, I just have a cold. I'll get over it in a day. You'll be fine." Or maybe not.

If you work with someone with lupus, putting them in a situation where they can't take care of themselves can force them to have a lupus flare. This includes things like regularly pushing them to work beyond what their body is able without allowing for breaks, putting them in situations in which they consistently miss meals, or even adding unnecessary stress by repeatedly asking them to complete tasks without proper notice ahead of time (when earlier notice could have been given). Notice my use of the words like regularly, consistently, unnecessary, and repeatedly. Every job has its busy seasons - times when people have to push harder, make extra sacrifices, put in extra hours. I am not saying that lupus patients should be shielded from seasons of intense work. I am saying that when they come, proactive measures need to be taken to ensure that they will continue to be able to work with no long-lasting repercussions to their health.

Here's the problem: lupus doesn't care! Lupus doesn't care how important the project, or how crucial the deadline, or how noble the goal is. Lupus doesn't care that this is not a good time for a flare. Lupus doesn't care that there are consequences for not getting everything done - it has its own consequences to exact. This may sound scathing, but it might be helpful to think of it this way: Is this project or job worth someone having a flare, being hospitalized, or having their ability to continue to work put in jeopardy? Take that question further: How can we get this done in a way that won't sacrifice the health of this person? You may be surprised how many solutions this question holds. You may even find that you'll have better results in the end than you would have had otherwise!

If you are a close friend or a family member of someone who has lupus, I'm going to guess that you've probably done what all of my friends and family did when they found out I have lupus...You googled it. Here's my advice: Do your homework. Don't buy in to every article you read. Investigate the credibility of your sources. (You can see some of my favorite resources here.) Don't learn about lupus so that you can give advice. Learn about lupus so you can be a great supporter! Learn about the disease and how it works. Learn about what kinds of things can cause flares. Learn about ways you can be a great caretaker or friend. Learn as much as you can!

Why I'm Frustrated About Health Insurance

Medical bills. I have so many of them. I don't enjoy them, but one in particular has me frustrated right now. Let me break it down for you:

I recently had to go through a round of physical therapy. A very specific kind of physical therapy that is not easy to come by...There's one person in my area who offers it. I needed it in order to be able to function on a daily basis. My physical therapist and I agreed that I would pay $25 up front at every session until we found out how much my health insurance would pay, then I would pay the difference later. After 8 sessions (and $200 later), I got the bill in the mail. My health insurance company paid a total of $144.63.

The remaining balance that I need to pay? $1383.90!

Here's the problem: If I would have paid out of pocket from the very beginning, it would have cost me $85 per session. That comes out to $680 total. With the amount I had already paid, I was expecting a bill that would be less than $480 - NOT $1383! With insurance, I'm being asked to pay $631.83 above and beyond what I would have paid out of pocket!

Considering the amount of money I have to pay every month for medications (one of them costs $240 for a one-month supply), doctor visits, lab tests, and the high insurance premiums so I could keep my doctors, a bill like this is a very big deal.

It's wrong.

I know that people have different opinions about health insurance, and I don't mean for this to be a controversial or political post by any means. But what happened to me is plain wrong. I'm trying to talk to the insurance company and the billing department to see what can be done, but this never should have happened in the first place. This is inexcusable. I feel like I'm being punished for having health insurance and taking care of myself. I'm not frivolously opting for treatments I don't need. I'm just trying to live.

The Lupus Foundation of America reports, "The average annual direct and indirect costs incurred by a person with lupus can exceed $21,000...A higher average annual cost of illness per person than those living with rheumatoid arthritis, heart disease, diabetes, hypertension or asthma." The burden of lupus goes beyond the physical struggles. The financial cost of having lupus is high. It is a heavy load, overwhelming at times. And bills that are significantly higher than what they should be just add to the weight.

Something needs to be done.

- - - - -

Update: Since publishing this post and after months of phone calls and prayers, the billing office informed me that they discussed my situation with my physical therapist and decided to change my remaining balance to reflect what I would have owed if I paid out of pocket: $480! My opinions about health insurance still remain the same and I still think there is a problem that needs to be addressed. But I am thankful that my healthcare providers really do care. I am also thankful that there are people in billing offices that are willing to listen and go the extra mile. (Thank you, Sarah, for having my back even though you don't even know me!) 

So what's the moral of the story? God answers prayer. Caring people exist in surprising places. And you don't have to be a victim when your health insurance company doesn't play fairly.

To learn more about lupus, check out the KNOW LUPUS Card Game. Every time you complete a level, $1 will be donated to lupus research!

Lupus Awareness Conversations

This weekend, I was standing around after a gradation talking with a bunch of friends (and some friends I just met). I randomly asked, "Are you guys wearing purple on May 15th for Put on Purple day?" This turned into a conversation about Lupus Awareness Month.

A girl I don't know very well asked me, "What's your connection with lupus?" 

"I have lupus." 

She admitted that she didn't really know anything about lupus. So my husband smiled and said, "THAT's why we need Lupus Awareness Month!" 

She then asked, "What are some things that people need to know about lupus?" I began to spout out some points off the top of my head:

- Lupus can affect any part of the body and each lupus patient has a different set of symptoms. It is the great pretender because it can look like a lot of other diseases.

- It takes an average of six years for people to be diagnosed with lupus.

- They're not exactly sure how people get lupus or what causes it.

- There's only one medication specifically for lupus.

- People who don't have lupus need to be aware of it because many people with lupus do chemotherapy or take immunosuppressives. This means that it is very easy for them to catch things and get infections which can lead to a life-threatening complication. (At this point, an old friend said, "Yeah! That's why I told her I was fine when a coughed earlier!")

These are five things that I didn't know when I was diagnosed a few years ago. (You can read more about my cluelessness here.) This conversation is a perfect example of why I love Lupus Awareness Month! It creates opportunities to have conversations that would otherwise be very awkward. And it really does help bring awareness and understanding to a disease that is still such a big mystery.

Want to know more? Check the Lupus Foundation of America's Lupus Awareness Month Facts or the KNOW LUPUS Card Game (which allows you to help raise money for lupus research just by playing for free!).

Lupus Awareness Month, No. 3

This is my third Lupus Awareness Month. When I was diagnosed with lupus about two and a half years ago, I knew two things about the disease:

1. Dr. House said, "It's never lupus." (Apparently, sometimes it is.)

2. One of the contestants on America's Next Top Model had it and it made her hair fall out.

"Lupus" was a scary word to me because I didn't know what to expect. I didn't have any family or friends who had lupus  - no one who could tell me their personal experiences with the disease. I've known people with cancer, diabetes, Crohn's...but no one with lupus.

And then, there was the frustration I felt every time someone said, "You have lupus? I've never heard of it." Educating myself about lupus was hard. There was a lot of ground to cover in a short amount of time. But that was nothing compared to the task of educating the people I work alongside and live life with. There were things they needed to know. And I was far from equipped to give them the information they needed.

So I am so thankful for Lupus Awareness Month. For the education it provides. For the funds it raises to help find a cure. For the community it facilitates. For the tangible ways it enables people to show support and give encouragement to those who are affected by lupus.

Check out the Lupus Foundation of America to see the KNOW LUPUS campaign and also to see how you can take action to spread awareness.

God's Music

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of thunder, with a Faure nocturne and lyrics in my head: 

"...I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed."

I am curled on my couch - not from a lupus flare for once - so I can soak in all of the beautiful sounds that are surrounding my house and swimming in my head. I am awestruck by the beauty of this space. The power of the thunder accompanied by millions of droplets. Crescendos and diminuendos. Melody and percussion. Moments of great fury and other moments of rest.

God is playing a symphony in the sky. And in my heart - I dare not speak out loud lest I disrupt His performance - I whisper, "Bravo, God. Bravo."

Doctor Visits

If there are typos in this post, you'll have to excuse me. My eyes are dilated. See?

Eye doctor visits are a big ordeal for me. One of the medications I take for lupus is called Plaquenil. It's actually an anti-malaria drug. (Somewhere along the way they discovered it helps with lupus. Who would have thought?) Plaquenil makes it possible for me to function on a daily basis. It also has some nasty side-effects. It can actually cause blindness or even color-blindness. So every 6 months, I get my eyes checked to make sure it's still safe for me to take it. And once a year, my eye check-up is actually a three visit process. Today was visit one: they dilated my eyes, looked at them with bright (very bright!) lights, and took pictures of my eyes. Not fun. But at least they give me really cool, roll-y lenses, right? The second visit is the fun one. That's the one where they make me do all sorts of game-like exercises to see if I can still see a full array of colors and twinkling lights. (And of course, more pictures of my eyes.) The third visit is result day. That's the day I find out whether or not I can keep taking Plaquenil. Last year, they did see a small change in my eyes from Plaquenil - not enough to take me off my beloved medication, but enough to make me take these six-month visits seriously.

When you have lupus, it takes a team of doctors to take care of you. Most of my doctors - if all is well - only require a visit every six months. But my rheumatologist sees me a minimum of every three months. On top of that, add the occasional round of physical therapy - many more visits. That's a lot of appointments (and bills)! Sometimes it takes a lot of organization and discipline to keep afloat of all the appointments. But if I want to continue to function day to day, these appointments are mandatory.

It's just one of those things. They don't have to be fun. (Not that my doctors are no fun...They're awesome. Really. But let's be real: Even with awesome doctors, there are still parts of doctor visits that are not fun.) They just have to happen. 

But that's life in the real world, isn't it? There are things that just need to be done.

How To Encourage Someone With A Chronic Illness (Epilogue)

My husband is my hero. He works full time while pursuing his Master's. The night before his very first day of grad school, he was with me in the emergency room. It was a very long night. We didn't know yet that I had lupus, but we did know that there was something very wrong with my health. Everything I couldn't do on my own - the list was very long - he had to help me with. I'm able to function a lot better now, but he is still my greatest helper and supporter. He lifts me up when I can't stand on my own (literally). I honestly don't know how I would make it without him. I lean on him when I need strength, but I am also very aware that, at times, his strength runs out, too. The burden he feels is very real. He can't physically feel my pain or symptoms, but he is living with lupus as much as I am.

I am not the only one who needs encouragement.

He also needs to be heard.

He also needs people who will show him empathy. (Someone once asked me, "Can't your husband help you more?" No. On top of work and grad school, he spends much of his time taking care of me. He does not have much in terms of free time. He is exhausted far too often. Put yourself in his shoes - that's what empathy is, after all - and you'll see how horrific such a question can be.)

He needs people who understand that his identity is much bigger than being a caretaker or the husband of a lupus patient.

He needs people to consider the gravity of the words they speak to him.

He needs people to be slow to advise him. (You would be shocked to hear some of the useless advice people give him.)

He needs people who will celebrate his victories. (There is so much on his shoulders that it's really easy for him to not notice when he's had a victory.)

He needs people to understand that he has a full range of emotions. (He's got a lot going on! Let him feel the feels!)

He needs people to live life with him. (He needs a sense of normalcy as much as I do.)

There are days when he can use some help and tangible expressions of encouragement. (In the days that followed my lupus diagnosis, someone that my husband and I look up to gave him a big hug. He's not typically a "hugger," but this hug in particular meant something to him.)

And from time to time, he needs someone to ask him how they can encourage him.

People have told me that I'm a superhero - that they can't believe all that I've accomplished while I battle lupus. I'm not a superhero. To be honest, the reason I accomplish so much is because I have an amazing husband who sacrifices for me everyday and doesn't let me give up when things get hard. If you ask me, I think he's the real superhero! People don't really see all that he does for me. They often rush to give me encouragement, but forget that he could use some, too.

Don't neglect the caretakers. They do a lot! It can be hard for them to keep from drowning amidst their endless list of responsibilities. The burden they carry is heavy and discouragement is often looming much too near. (Imagine how it feels to see someone you love in pain everyday and not be able to take it away.) So don't forget about these heroes who often go unnoticed. The encouragement you bring may be the very thing they need to make it through the next week!

Why I Wear Yoga Pants

As I type this, I'm wearing yoga pants. That's right. I'm wearing yoga pants.

I'm not immodest. (Everything that needs to be covered is covered.)

I'm not lazy. (Even on a Saturday morning, I still put thought into what I would wear today.)

I'm not unfashionable. (At least, I sure get a lot of compliments on my fashion choices.)

And I'm not giving in to current fashion trends. (I'm hipster like that. Or not. I don't know.)

I'm not trying to make a statement. (Ok, sometimes I wear graphic tees to make a statement. But my yoga pants - not a statement.)

I do yoga (it's one of the few types of exercise I can do), but I probably won't do yoga today.

So why am I wearing yoga pants today? Because I am in pain. "Normal" pants hurt. They hurt to wear and they hurt to put on. But yoga pants don't hurt. And on a day like today, every little thing I can do to minimize pain counts. So I'm not ashamed of my yoga pants. I have more important things to be concerned about. Things like having lunch with my husband, listening to the birds singing outside my window, and enjoying my Saturday.

How To Encourage Someone With A Chronic Illness (Part 4)

In my earlier posts on this subject of giving encouragement, I've focused on things that need to always be kept in mind when it comes to your relationship with a person with a chronic illness. In fact, some of my advice could have just as easily been for a post titled, "How To Not Discourage Someone With A Chronic Illness." This final "chapter" of the series is the fun one. At least, I think it is. The first three parts (you can check them out here, here, and here) were definitely much more intense to write. But this fun one's for those of you who want to go the extra mile and do something.

9. Do something tangible.

The sky's the limit with this one. This list is nowhere near comprehensive. But I hope that it gets your creative juices flowing. :)

Hugs...but only if you're not sick! If you are sick, just say, "I'd give you a hug, but I'm sick and don't want to pass it on to you." (Btw, if it's flu season, please don't be offended if they back away from a hug. Also, you might want to first ask if a hug would be okay. They may not be a hugger. And even if they are, they might need a chance to warn you that they're hurting a little extra that day and need a gentler hug.)

Bring them some coffee or food - homemade or store bought. I'm not the type of person who asks for stuff like this, but if you offer, I might just take you up on it! Make sure to ask them if they have any dietary restrictions first. :)

Invite them over to your house for a meal. My husband and I live far away from our familes. So when I was first diagnosed with lupus, it was a huge blessing when people invited us over for a meal. It gave us one less meal to worry about during a very overwhelming time. It was also so wonderful to be able to be with other people. The months leading to diagnosis were difficult, and having a social life was not possible. So these post-diagnosis meals were very special and I don't think I will ever forget any of them.

Offer to help with a chore or errand. Doing dishes, shoveling snow, raking, cleaning, laundry...I think you get the idea. Living with a chronic illness is hard work! Sometimes, getting stuff done around the house or running to the store can feel like too much when you're just trying to get through the day-to-day. And it's really easy for the discouragement to pile up along with the messes and growing to-do lists. A helping hand for even the smallest task can go a long way to give someone the boost they need.

Small gifts or care packages. It doesn't need to cost much. Don't underestimate how encouraging something as small as their favorite candy bar or a box of Kleenex (the good kind with the lotion in it) can be. Very recently, I was shopping at Target when a purple wreath caught my eye. I took a picture of it on my phone and posted it on Facebook with this caption:

I want this so bad for Lupus Awareness Month!

Does anyone want to buy it for me?

I was kidding. I thought my silly Facebook pic would be the closest I would get to displaying that wreath. I really wasn't fishing for someone to actually buy it for me. Really! But later that day, a dear friend sent me a long message with beautiful words of encouragement. She ended it with this: "PS - The wreath is ordered and on its way to your home."  I happy cried.

Speaking of purple...

Show support for them during awareness days or months. Last May, I asked my friends to wear purple and take selfies for Put On Purple Day and Lupus Awareness Month. Every time I got tagged on a photo, my day got brighter and brighter.

I've mentioned this before, but I'll say it again: Write a thoughtful note or card. It might even become something they treasure!

And now...drumroll please! Here's my very last tip in this series!

10. Ask.

Everyone is different. Words or actions that encourage one person may fail to encourage another. So if you've read my numerous posts on the subject and still feel at a loss, simply ask. If you don't know what to ask, here's a few ideas to get you started:

"How can I encourage you right now?" or "Is there anything I can do for you in addition to praying?" Just being asked lets me know that I am loved and not alone.

Here's the problem: If you want to do something more tangible for me and you ask me questions like this, I will typically draw a blank and say, "I think I'm all good," or "There's probably something but I just can't think of it right now." I'm not trying to be rude. I promise! I'm just really bad at answering questions like this on the spot. So if you want to do more to encourage someone, you might need to be a little more specific...

"Have you eaten? Can I bring you some coffee or any food?" 

"Would it be okay if I come over to help you [insert chore or errand]?" For this one, make sure you do it in a way that is gentle. Choose your words and tone carefully so that you don't come across as demanding, demeaning, or intrusive. Also know that the person may initially say "no" when you ask, but they will remember your kindness in offering. And there might be a day when they feel like they have used up the last of their strength, and just knowing you have an offer on the table to help with the dishes may be the lifeline they need.

"Would you like me to help watch your kids tomorrow so that you can take a nap?" I don't have any kids, but I've heard from my friends who are parents that they don't get any sleep. Naps are really great for people with chronic illness, but it can be hard to make them happen. So if you know a parent with a chronic illness, I bet that enabling them to take a nap would make them very happy!

- - - - -

I hope this post gave you some good ideas. I'm sure that there are a lot of things that I didn't mention. What are some of your ideas? Feel free to leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you!